Archive | October, 2012

Handlers Admit: Drugs Were “out of balance” in First Debate

Staff medical spokesmen for both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney admitted “mistakes were made” in the candidate’s dosages for last night’s debate.

In interviews conducted prior to staff “post mortems”, medical teams in both camps expressed concern over the lack of enthusiasm and overall vibrancy in the candidate’s presentations.

“Probably the steroids need to be doubled and the Xanax trimmed back a trace,” said Mario Calcutta, of the Romney team. “We’ll want to sharpen his attack, next time.”

Similar remarks were made from Obama’s side of the stage. “We may try something new,” said Zerbo Hanndz, pharmacologist for the Democratic campaign. “Kind of like Concerta, but with a twist. It allows free association, then focuses the mind on the first concrete thought. I’m not sure it has a name yet. Should make for a lively night, though.”


See more as it develops right here.