Author Archive | Paul

Ten Things To Do When Your Neighbors Are Beating On Each Other

AngelYesterday, a friend of mine posted on Facebook the fact that a neighbor couple was involved in screaming fights, and she could think of nothing other than doing Something to Help Them. To make matters worse, she couldn’t think of anything she could do. I read this early yesterday, and from that point I on could not think of anything other than what I might do, were I in her position.

By lunch, I had figured out ten actions which I might take. Therefore, having brought up the subject here, I feel obliged to present them to you.

Some of my ideas entail resources I cannot call upon. However, I am not in my friend’s situation. Perhaps, if ever I am, I shall have those resources available at that time.

1. Erect bleachers outside their place, and sell tickets. In the concession stand attached to the ticket booth, I would sell pennants with “His” and “Her” names on them, as well as hot dogs and energy drinks.

2. Drown them out with fireworks, heavy-metal music, military band music, the “1812 Overture”, Wagner, Berlioz, and 20th Century Russian composers. Preferably, all at once.

3. Alternately, match the music to their ruckus. In effect, score the event. Pick music in the same rhythm and tempo of their exchange.

4. Record them, just as they are. Use the recording as a sound track for an animation.

5. Similarly, use the recording, augmented with added music, as the score for a ballet.

6. Instead of music, mix current news broadcasts with them.

7. Research all the homes for battered spouses in the area. Print up flyers promoting them. Include tear-off strips with the shelters’ phone numbers on them. Print up at least 500 flyers – better, 500 for each shelter. Then go around the neighborhood stapling them to phone poles. Put them all up. If that requires poles to be completely covered with the flyers, so be it.

8. Get 2 – 3 large, aggressive dogs. When the couple is fighting, let the dogs into their apartment. Run away.

9. When they are fighting, light a fire in their yard. A big fire that will burn for hours. Take care not to ignite any buildings.

10. Stick their garden hose in one of their windows, connected to a faucet and turned on. As above, run away. In this case, it does not matter if they are engaged in combat or not.

Whatever you do, keep in mind this thought: Nobody does Anything for Someone Else’s Own Good. If you find yourself acting on that basis, STOP, take a step back, and consider exactly what you are doing, and what you are getting out of it. There’s probably something else you should be doing, that doesn’t require anybody to change what they are doing at all.

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Rallys. Really?

The nominal President, T.Rump, held a rally somewhere in Alabama today. It made news because hecause he called on Professional Football, Inc., to “fire” those players who protest national policies and sentiments by not standing during the national song’s rendition before any game.

Just now, as I was writing this, it took me more than a minute to name what the players were protesting. As I recall their statements of protest, they have to do with numerouse lapses in “freedom and justice” which the players are demanding be addressed, and an abiding allegiance to prejudice, primarily racial, instead of the very spirit which the song references.

Could T.Rump ever sort it out?

Personally, I doubt he has any concept of “spirit”. I think he denies the existence of anything so un-solid as “spirit”. He understands anger, fear, greed – rather, recognises the effects of these sentiments. He doesn’t understand anything very much.

Also, he recognises victory and defeat. I doubt this extends to success and failure. I don’t think he can recognize success unless it includes beating someone else. And failure is too painful for him to comtemplate.

Spirit, victory, defeat.

Who ever heard of a sitting President holding a rally? As he approached re-election, sure, but now?

Hitler held rallies, Mussolini, Saddam Hussein, Juan Peron. Not Truman, or Eisenhower, not even Nixon or Clinton. Nobody who could be impeached; only those who could be deposed. And vilified. Forever, I might add.

Of course T.Rump’s love of rallys does not in any way imply he’s a demogogue. I understand some Committee for Producing Rallies scheduled a rally they called “Mother Of All Rallys” last Saturday on the National Mall. There was some perplexity over the booking. It conflicted with another rally, scheduled by The Juggalos for the same time and place. Concern was voiced that the Mall couldn’t handle both crowds, and that the two groups couldn’t intersect without violence.
Most articles referring to the scheduling conflict assumed the reader was familiar with “Juggalos”. As I was not, I googled the term.
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Turns out, “Juggalos” are fans of a hip-hop group named “Insane Clown Posse”. Two white guys, their faces completely covered in parodies of clown makeup, rapping surprisingly childlike lyrics. The fans/Juggalos paint their faces similar to the duo.

Superficially, I could see no dischord between Rump’s followers and “insane clowns”. As it was, the enormous Mall was more than sufficient to accept the entire “MOAR” and still have more that enough empty space to include the entire population of Juggalos.

I can only imagine Mussolini’s reaction to such a rally. If you’re like me, you’d have loved to see it.

 

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Labor Day, 2017

“Btw, IMHO and FWIW, the administration is doing a superlative job in response to Harvey so far.”
– John J Lisovitch
Saturday at 2:19pm ·
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I’m generally so tense that when the cat jumps off my lap, I twang. Relaxation is a rare event. If ever I do manage to draw an unfettered breath, I often fall asleep.

John J. Lisovitch’s post the other day(above) must have imbued me with such relief, given me so much hope that in an instant I fell into a deep sleep, for I had an intense and compelling dream. It only lasted a second. Maybe it was a legitimate vision, but saying that seems very presumptuous. Like, it might actually happem, or something.

In this dream, I lived in a nation whose government responded to its people by relieving their suffering. And in fact that was all it did: removed agony. It did not create it. Any attempt to realize profit by making things worse for any segment of the populace would be required by law to specifically benefit ten times that number, including the intended victims, and do it immediately.

In this government, all decisions are made in full view. Bribery and kickbacks are nonexistant; the very idea is scorned as the invention of an idiot. No one would go there, do that, because it would inevitably lead to prison and destitution.

And, though an impulse may occasionally pass through the minds and bowels of some administration or other to reduce a small, belligerant nation to crystalline ash, no military adventure is ever considered. If, though, a bation’s populace ever rises in revolt against a despot, and appeals to my government for support, support may well be there.

The interests of this nation center on freedom and justice, and prosperity for all, as opposed to maximum profit for a few. I could see this in the faces and actions of all around me, the self-assurance and good feelings they express.

All in one second. I don’t think it was the first time I’d been there, though. It felt like I’d come home.

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;Dick Gregory

I heard of Dick Gregory’s passing the night it happened, Friday August 19, a week after Charlottesville. I then spent the next hour writing a “haiku”:
chord of here and now
summer wind by ghetto rooms
Dick Gregory’s voice

I have learned that, to make sense, a work – be it in language or pigments, a song or a meal – has to convey feelings. Like the Duke said, it has to swing. So maybe that isn’t haiku, and doesn’t swing. It’s my immediate tribute to an important man who passed. His voice made a considerable difference.

He was the first stand-up philosopher I could recognize. Perhaps there were others before him. If you know any, please note them, here if you can. After him came George Carlin and Chris Rock. Probably, there are others, too. I’m not too good with names.

Here’s a few Dick Gregory-isms.
– There’s a god force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
– In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
– I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
– Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
– I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
– There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
– Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
– If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
– Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
– I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. D
– Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
– Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.
– I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
– We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First class.
– We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
– Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
These and more come from: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dickgregor377993.html

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The Runt vs T. Rump

I have never promised to give our current alleged president any credit for any action he may ever take. Mainly, this was because I could never envision his being effective in any positive manner, despite (or because of) his relentlessly positive posture. Someone who never questions his own perspective is bound to drive off cliffs, pedal floored and banners flying, practically all the time.

Well, damned if he didn’t get one right. l won’t deny it, won’t even nitpick about Marquis of Queensbury  or Hoyle even the Geneva Convention, if it ends here. Beijing bitch-slapping their yapping punk was the desired result.

Appropriate world perspective was preserved.

I can only hope that penetrates T.Rump’s hopelessly self-centered myopism. People are genuinely glad that what he said [reflected] the world’s policies while endorsing America’s presence on Guam. If it results in a de-escalation of hostilities, as it appears, then it may actually further humanitiy’s promise.

This was the scenario T.Rump has been playing out in his head since – well, since his election, at least. Us vs Them, on a level field under clear skies. It helped that They are <.01 Us, potentially harmful and obnoxious to boot. I don’t know about you, but I’m perfectly cool with taking a bullying posture with the brat that’s terrorizing the granny-lady. Threatening a perfectly plausible devastating retaliation should it continue satisfies my sense of justice. Communication must be received and understood to be effective.

I have had cats through much of my life. Unlike dogs, who don’t think much and look to their companions repeatedly for advice and direction, cats think for themselves, and don’t really care what you think.

They think it’s perfectly natural, for instance, to share in whatever food is reachable. I have found empirically that cats will generally not take my unwillingness to share my meals with them as sincere unless it is accompanied by a heartfelt threat to their lives.

Not that I would actually do it, probably. The distinction between threat and execution is thus defined as the birthplace of civilization.

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