Author Archive | Paul

Friday the Thirteenth-plus-Eleven

According to reports, Osama bin Laden’s courier’s cellphone’s Fave Five included Allah, God and Harold Camping. His favorite pizza place was apparently ibn Ben’s Famous; his favorite tweets were Glenn Beck, Andy Borowitz, and Hussein ibn Jakmah, described as “a Turkish stand-up comic with a terrorist’s point of view.”

There were several snapshots in the phone, apparently taken at an Al-Qaeda office party in 2002. Three show bin Laden wearing a Santa’s Helper hat with a white pompon on its tip, mugging for the camera.

Other photos appeared to be taken at a Halloween party. Several small children are seen, wearing Afghan-style turbans, false handlebar moustaches and presumably fake suicide vests.

Still other photos show two unidentified young women with masks on, as well as leather harnesses, carrying whips.

Bin Laden considered changing the name of Al Qaeda. Names on the list included Al Gore, Al Franken, Al Yankovic and Ron Artest, if it ever became vacant.

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