– In Waterloo, IA, her birthplace, Michele Bachmann formally announced her presidential candidacy in the living-room of a lovely, well-kept farmhouse. She was surrounded by family and friends, and after the announcement, coffee and home-made cupcakes were served by the cherubic children. In keeping with her theme of cash-on-the-barrelhead, no deficit spending, she paid for the rental of the family, friends and farmhouse with a personal check handwritten to the Family Rental Agency of Keokuk. An onlooker was heard to say, “Don’t it look natural?”
– An arrest warrant from the International Criminal Court in the Hague for Libyan strongman Moamar Gadhafi was thrown out by a Common Pleas magistrate in Tripoli on the grounds that Mr Gadhafi’s name was misspelled. When asked, “What is the correct spelling?”, the magistrate threw up his hands and said, “Search me.” The International Crime Detectives to whom he was speaking at the time immediately did so. They found a 9-volt battery and a roll of halal Rolaids, which they ate.
– Citibank ‘discovered’ $2.7 million was stolen during May 10’s hack of their system. Well, they can show their system was hacked, May 10. They can show that $2.7 million is missing. We know who hacked them. Do we need a map, then? Yeah, we do. Keep your hands where we can see them, CitiGuys. It’s just a routine procedure.
– In a followup to the above, The Wall Street Journal broke a story about a former vice-president in Citigroup’s internal treasury finance department, Gary Foster, accused of embezzling $19 million from corporate accounts. There is no indication of any deep interest on Foster’s part in computer security either before, during or after the period (2008 – 2010) during which he embezzled the funds. His attorney, Max Bialystock, of Bialystock & Bloom, insists this is “all a big, big mistake”, the details of which will become clear “in the next few days,” just as soon as he and Mr Foster get back from a pre-arranged business trip to Bangkok.
– CNN announced the invention of something by a Canadian nuclear physicist that will revolutionize our thinking about energy production, and may well provide flood-proof, earthquake-proof, non-overloadable, uninterruptable power for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, their network connection failed and the story was never posted. O well.